Vacation Goals: Gluttony Edition

As I’ve lamented before, this will be the last WDW trip for me for at least a year. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I know that at least I’ll be going out with a bang! 11 days of awesome with my mom, aiming to accomplish quite a bit, and knowing I’m in for some amazing new experiences. Here’s what’s new that I’ll be striving for/achieving in these coming days:

1. Staying at the Boardwalk Villas. It’s an easy goal to throw into the ring: “I’d love to stay at every WDW resort at least once!” And while I’m not 100% sure I’ll ever cross that accomplishment off of my to-do list, I will be getting a little bit closer. I’ve never had the pleasure of staying at BWV before (or any DVC property, for that matter), so I’m pretty pumped. I look forward to making the Belle Vue my local watering hole for a whole five days, as well as working several days from our studio room, pretending I simply live on property.

2. Staying at the Wilderness Lodge. See above. Another one down… nine to go?? I’ll have to doublecheck my life’s travels. I’m looking forward to the cognitive dissonance of staying in a northwestern woodsy themed hotel smack in the middle of swampy Florida.

3. Dining at Beirgarten. Sad to say, I’ve never been. And despite my boozy inclinations, I’m not much of a beer drinker. Or a fan of small talk with strangers. So I’ve since kept my distance. However, recent research into the restaurant shows that it has many sauces available. I’m a sucker for sauces. I’m going to go to Biergarten, get sauced, saucy, and sloppy with schnitzel.

4. Dining at the Yachtsman. I’m actually whoring myself out for a free meal here. And when I say, “myself,” I mean my Tables in Wonderland card. I’ll be happily dining with a group of my mother, my aunt, and six of their coworkers. I fork over my 20% dicsount for the whole group, and in exchange, I’m expensed on the meal. Sounds like a pretty fair trade to me!

5. Forcing myself to sit through all of the World Showcase films. Why? Originally my answer was, “why not? I’ll be living next door to Epcot, and when else will I be willing to spend so much time on something that isn’t eating, drinking, or enjoying a ride?” However, now that I think about it, my answer is veering into the, “wait, why am I spending precious time on something that isn’t eating, drinking, or enjoying a ride?” So we’ll see. Not all goals were meant to be accomplished.

6. Eating a pressed brioche ice cream sandwich from the France pavilion. Can I take this with me into Impressions de France?

7. Dining at ‘Ohana — TONIGHT!!!!!!!! This baby has been on my bucket list for YEARS. Sadly, I’d never been able to snag an ADR. So this time I planned in advance — 180 days in advance, to be exact. My mother thought I was a little nuts as I called WDW Dining once a day back in July to secure an ADR for almost every night we may be at WDW in late January. I guess it’s because of assholes like me that I’d never been able to get an ADR before. Fear not: I’ve since cancelled the rest of the reservations once I figured out which night would work best. I’m so pumped for never ending meat and Lapu Lapus that I’m fasting all day until dinner (okay, so maybe it’s just because I didn’t have time for breakfast before I left for the airport this morning and then am too cheap to buy lunch for myself at the airport. Whatever. ‘OHANA!!!!).

8. Lunch at Trail’s End. Yes, a lot of my goals are food based. I own it. I also want to own chicken and waffles in my mouth.

9. Raglan Road brunch. Sensing a theme yet? I’ll give you a hint: there are two themes — 1) I will gain back all of the holiday weight that I finally just got rid of, and 2) I will soon be filing for bankruptcy.

10. Going for a run around Crescent Lake. I always see those people and think, “who the hell exercises on vacation?!” Or, “why would you waste precious Disney time on exercise?!?” Or, “seriously, you didn’t walk enough miles through the parks already?!” Well, in light of the primary issue mentioned in goal number 9, and in light of the fact that I want to pretend I live a normal life at the Boardwalk Villas, I thought, why not take a little jog? Then again, like I said earlier… not all goals are meant to me accomplished.

11. Animal Kingdom at Night!!! I’m very excited for this. Like, in an unhealthy way. To think, I’ve never partied with my beloved Yeti after sundown. This will happen soon. I’m coming for you, my precious.

12. And the same goal I’ve expressed for the last three WDW trips yet still haven’t accomplished/possibly wussed out on: Eating the scorpion at Cava del Tequila. Hey, you never know… this could be the trip! Or I could go jogging instead.